Perfectionism is such an awful trait to possess when starting something -- anything, really. It's such a human quality to strive for something great and an even more human quality to be great at something you love; just to know you can throw your entire heart into it.
I was dreading taking my first pictures yesterday. From the time my alarm went off at five, to the time I left my last class at two, the only thing on my mind were those pictures. How am I supposed to pose? Please don't let it be cloudy all day. What if I'm just not photogenic enough? I got dressed and went into my backyard to take pictures. Two little boys, no older than seven or eight had gone into the alley behind my house and started to yell and point and laugh. Inside, my pictures turned out grainy and overexposed and the table that I had been using as a makeshift tripod collapsed onto the floor and broke my camera, sparing the memory card.
Three hours after I began, I finally had shots to work with. And thus, with pressing the button to publish, I closed my eyes and exhaled.
To be absolutely clear, this is not an example of resilience or rising to the occasion or anything else that makes blogging sound like the hardest, most difficult job in the world. It's a lesson of passion.
Months ago, reading Atlantic-Pacific and The Chriselle Factor would have put me off of blogging after my first try (much like I suppose drama students get turned off the moment they see Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren or Daniel Day-Lewis perform). But doing things even when they aren't quite comfortable is essential if you love something enough. When you put your entire focus into work or something you love, maybe it won't be perfect, but that's the biggest part of the process: acceptance and love for what you do even though it might not be your best.
Needless to say, my first attempt at fashion blogging didn't keep me up last night, because I could go to bed knowing I worked with what I was given. Fashion has given more to me than I could ever dream of and thus, I give back all I have to it, even if it made me break my camera in the process.